User blog:IAmTargy999/I’d Like to Explain Myself

Hey friends. It's been a while. I haven't written an article for this blog since May 21, 2019. That's five months 2 weeks and 5 days. My God, it's been almost half-a-year. So where have I been? Nowhere, I haven't been doing anything of note, just blogging on other blogs of mine, hanging out with friends, and celebrating holidays as they come and go.

So the better question would be "how have I been?" Good, but mostly bad. I'm not going to act like I've been left to fend for myself in Syria or something, but I haven't been doing well. Basically, I've been suffering from a few symptoms of schizophrenia.

In recent weeks, I've been halicunanting sounds and to a lesser extent smells and visuals. A week or so ago I even was breifly paranoid a ghost has been following me. Now, the symptoms have greatly decreased, and I can only be so happy, but I did have a several week long manic episode, which is concerning. I hate to use mental illness as a crutch, but if I ever do something odd or concerning, just know it's likely a manic episode.

Additionally, I've been learning more about who I am as I'm exposed to more ideas and lifestyles. I've figured out that I'm bisexual and in August of 2019, one of the months I was off of Wikitubia, I made the decision to leave Judaism, my former religion. My parents are accepting and I still choose to eat Jewish cuisine like matzo balls and sufganiyots, as well as celebrating Jewish holidays like Purim and Hanukkah. I'm just no longer religious, I just find being religious too tedious and too boring.

I'm also interested in living a more effeminate lifestyle. I'm a male, and I plan to keep it that way, but I love the prospect of femininity. I've begun taking part in traditionally feminine customs like pulling my socks up, crossing my legs while sitting, shopping as a form of pleasure. Additionally, I've begun shaving my entire body, with the exception of my actual hair, of course. I also bought some lavish lip gloss, which should arrive in a day or two.

I feel scared writing this. I feel like a man abandoned by society walking alone in a junkyard. All I want is a cute, nerdy, effeminate boy (I want him to be effeminate and nerdy because I'm effeminate and nerdy) to cuddle with, kiss, and hug. Whoever you are, never forget that you deserve to be loved.